Emergence (Part 3 of 4)

" Luna Awakening"
Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe 6/2012

"Authenticity" revealed itself to me as my word for this year. it proved to be the essence of what I had stifled within my cocoon. Authenticity has proven to be a powerful word. Since January, it has guided me through many levels of awareness and release.  In February I experienced an illness that prevented me from working for three weeks.  I rarely get sick, go to the doctor or take medications.  Missing so much work was unnerving. As I released resistance to this reality, I experienced a calming perception that financial resources to supplement income I would have earned at this time would somehow manifest.  They did, and in ways I would not have anticipated.  My house became my cocoon.  With the inability to do little more than sleep and occasionally watch television or listen to music, I had been provided the opportunity for a spiritual  sabbatical.  After the first week, I decided to utilize this possibility.

Meditation does not require physical energy. For the next two weeks, between sleeping blissfully,  I meditated daily and gained a deeper understanding of the changes I needed to make to attain the retrieval of my spirit of passion. When we ask for answers and then truly listen, we can hear what we are seeking.  

When I returned to work I was informed that I had been selected to participate in a new MTSN Trainer of Trainers program for Trauma Informed Care.  It has has proved to be completely aligned with my alliance to the calling of Authenticity.  Involvement in this extensive training has been stimulating, intriguing, unnerving and challenging. As I researched the material, many questions arose from within me.   Among them were ones regarding my relationship with my Shadow Mission; a sometimes uncomfortable but empowering process. The compassion, patience and support of the program trainers provided a safe environment for growth and change that allowed me to begin to relax and experience deeper gratitude for this opportunity.  Many facets of myself and my life presented themselves to me for contemplation. Determined to move beyond the confines of any self imposed walls of doubt, I immersed myself in their truth and embraced their lessons. 

During a training in June, I felt an energy shift occurring within me.  I shifted my focus from the presenter and intuitively "listened" to what I was feeling. 

The cocoon that had been tightly wrapped around me was breaking apart.  I closed my eyes to view this symbolic dream from a sensory level of vision and saw threads of the chrysalis drop away. An immense and  beautiful luminous green silk moth emerged from my heart, rose above me and stationed itself behind me with the tips of its wings cresting above my head like a crown.  

Contentment and joy rushed through me. 

I had returned to myself.