Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Putting Out Fires

" The Dragon's Breath"
Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe

Artfulness extends into everything in life...regardless of your profession.  All things can be approached from an artful perspective.  Art is a dominant factor in my life.  I am also a conflict mediator. Mediating conflict can be challenging, but is also intriguing when the participants begin to see beyond the limitations of their behaviors and open to change.  I compare this pivotal moment to the moment when the web that has created the drama of their enmeshment begins to unravel. 
More often than not, the obvious ramifications of the statements they are making have become obscure to them.  The actions of others involved within the conflict are perceived as personal affronts toward each other and, in adapting this perception, they are blind to the root cause of the other's behaviors.  When you are blind and deaf to the truth, fear...evolving into inflamed anger... becomes dominant.
To put out these fires and reach the point where new growth can begin, I focus upon teaching them communication skills.  Trust and love are often held prisoners by specters of the past.  Many times, I incorporate associative art techniques to assist in the removal of the veiled webs that have encased them.  These same techniques can unleash and tame memories frozen in time that have now morphed into massive and intolerable beasts that gnash at the dynamics of their lives. 
We talk.  We create.  Walls begin to crumble.  Tears may flow.  Webs woven from pain unravel.  Seeds of love and trust take root.  New growth begins.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Emergence (Part 4 of 4)

"Tatanka's Realm"
Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe  7/2012

Mid-June of this year was the scheduled time of my first Trauma Informed Care co-facilitation, which was several hours from home. Shortly after getting my car's oil changed and other general maintenance work done in preparation for the drive, I had a nagging feeling that something wasn't right with the car.  I had another mechanic double check it.  He gave my car a positive diagnosis for my road trip.  Thirty miles out of town, en route to my destination, the car broke down near an exit ramp in a rural area. 

The next two hours I sat at a table located in the corner of a convenience store that was about a half mile away and made numerous car and work related calls.  I then looked for something else to do until the tow truck came.   The store was lacking in stimulating reading material, but it did have popcorn and I could watch the sun beginning to set from the window near the table.  I had one of the decks of cards with me that I use to do intuitive card readings and did a small reading for myself to ask what I needed to know about the outcome of the day.  All of the cards were auspicious and fortuitous. It seemed to relate to more than the car, but then in life, most events relate to more than what seems obvious.   

After considering all my options, purchasing another car was the most sensible financial choice.   A friend referred me to a car dealer who suggested that rather than buying a used car, as I have always done, I purchase a 2012 model. I was somewhat hesitant that the payment might not work with my expenses. He detailed its qualities and benefits which were impressive and then said it was a no brainer.  I wondered if I should believe him. "No Brainer," along with "It's Not Rocket Science," are two of my least favorite statements. He was right. The car was a good choice and although I was being cautious, I was also being resistant.

During the test drive I changed my mind about Teddy Graybill, the salesman.  I have never really felt at ease with driving vehicles with which I am not familiar.  That evening proved to be no exception.  Within a couple of minutes I drove through a stop sign and almost drove through a red light. He didn't flinch and told me that in Costa Rica taxi drivers often speed through stop signs and consider them a "Mere Suggestion."  I wondered if perhaps I had been a Costa Rican cab driver in a past life, of if this should be my next career.  "I've got your back, Kate," he said.  I decided I could forgive the rocket science comment. Somebody needed to have my back, and his too, if he was brave enough to ride with me that evening. 

I now own the car, a a snow white Kia Forte which I love.  Driving it makes me feel happy and prosperous. Opening to this shift in thinking has given me the impetus to jump start the professional goals that I am seeking to achieve. The payment is reasonable, my auto insurance went down, my fuel expenses have decreased considerably, I have a ten year warranty and three years of free oil changes.  Throughout the process of purchasing the car, Teddy Graybill responded as a supportive friend and for that I am appreciative.   He and Lake Manawa Kia are among my gratitudes for this month.

Previous cars that I have owned have been named "Little Latin Lapis Lupe Lu"(an inexpensive little blue car that had to have a lively name for me to appreciate it); ''Beverly Hornet' (It screeched like a bad opera singer); "Xena Warrior Princess Jobe" (she was tough and reliable, regardless of what happened to her); "Stella" (bright red and sassy) and "Raziel"(named after a powerful Archangel that provided protection and wisdom).  Naming this car "Snow White" would have been, as they say, a no brainer, but the name doesn't have substance and I did not want to manifest having to cook and clean house for seven men, regardless of their height.  "Tatanka' is the name I have given to my snow white Kia.  Tatanka is the Native American word for buffalo.  Buffalo is symbolic of manifesting abundance through right action and White Buffalo is sacred. 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Emergence (Part 3 of 4)

" Luna Awakening"
Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe 6/2012

"Authenticity" revealed itself to me as my word for this year. it proved to be the essence of what I had stifled within my cocoon. Authenticity has proven to be a powerful word. Since January, it has guided me through many levels of awareness and release.  In February I experienced an illness that prevented me from working for three weeks.  I rarely get sick, go to the doctor or take medications.  Missing so much work was unnerving. As I released resistance to this reality, I experienced a calming perception that financial resources to supplement income I would have earned at this time would somehow manifest.  They did, and in ways I would not have anticipated.  My house became my cocoon.  With the inability to do little more than sleep and occasionally watch television or listen to music, I had been provided the opportunity for a spiritual  sabbatical.  After the first week, I decided to utilize this possibility.

Meditation does not require physical energy. For the next two weeks, between sleeping blissfully,  I meditated daily and gained a deeper understanding of the changes I needed to make to attain the retrieval of my spirit of passion. When we ask for answers and then truly listen, we can hear what we are seeking.  

When I returned to work I was informed that I had been selected to participate in a new MTSN Trainer of Trainers program for Trauma Informed Care.  It has has proved to be completely aligned with my alliance to the calling of Authenticity.  Involvement in this extensive training has been stimulating, intriguing, unnerving and challenging. As I researched the material, many questions arose from within me.   Among them were ones regarding my relationship with my Shadow Mission; a sometimes uncomfortable but empowering process. The compassion, patience and support of the program trainers provided a safe environment for growth and change that allowed me to begin to relax and experience deeper gratitude for this opportunity.  Many facets of myself and my life presented themselves to me for contemplation. Determined to move beyond the confines of any self imposed walls of doubt, I immersed myself in their truth and embraced their lessons. 

During a training in June, I felt an energy shift occurring within me.  I shifted my focus from the presenter and intuitively "listened" to what I was feeling. 

The cocoon that had been tightly wrapped around me was breaking apart.  I closed my eyes to view this symbolic dream from a sensory level of vision and saw threads of the chrysalis drop away. An immense and  beautiful luminous green silk moth emerged from my heart, rose above me and stationed itself behind me with the tips of its wings cresting above my head like a crown.  

Contentment and joy rushed through me. 
I had returned to myself. 

Monday, July 2, 2012

Emergence (Part 2 of 4)

"Truth Beyond Assumption"
Mixed Media Mask by Kate Jobe 1/2011

Each new year I pick a word or phrase that is to be my intent for the coming year.  I meditate upon this intent and trust what comes to me.  I then create some form of art that assists in grounding the energy of these words.  "Truth Beyond Assumption." was revealed to me as my intent for 2011.  The mask I created to reflect its expression to me included symbolic components of  two of my mandalas: "Datura Moons"; & "Diversity"; Peregrine Falcon and a tiny crystal ball.  I hung the mask in a location where I could see it every day and felt strength and appreciation each time I looked at it.  It is difficult to pinpoint when the inception for a paradigm shift actually begins. That spring I began feeling the perceptible impetus to make changes in my life. I made the definitive statement to myself that, up to this moment,  I had lived my life one way and now, for the remainder of my life, I was going to live it another way. Case closed. Every cell of my body heard the power of this truth and responded with gratitude. 

I read the book, Women, Food & God and was impacted by its message.  Among other things, it spoke of how so many women are at war with food and their bodies. Shortly after that I joined Weight Watchers and from that moment on, I realized that I truly was shifting my paradigm regarding my attitude about food and my perception of myself. I attribute part of this shift to Noreen, my meeting leader.  Her spirit of motivation and support was a catalyst that further activated the momentum of my intent. 

Making peace with food released a huge weight from my energy.  Not only did I shift my physical weight, but also the heaviness I had been carrying regarding the pressure I had put upon myself to manifest the weight and proportions of my much younger body.  As I dropped assumptions about myself and owned my truth, I realized that trying to be the person I was a number of years ago meant continuing to own the dramas and energy of that person.  My intent was not to remain stagnant, but to transform and expand beyond who I was into a higher level of energy. In the following year I joyfully released 70 pounds from my body. 

Since the evolution of my skin challenge I had pursued many holistic methods for its healing and had achieved slow but progressive levels of success through their implementation.  More profoundly, and ironically, the imperfections of my skin assisted me to accept and love myself more completely.  An unexpected outcome of my commitments in 2011 was that my skin began to heal more noticably.  The mask of my skin was transforming and the fibers that comprised my cocoon were unraveling.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Emergence (Part 1 of 4)

"Cocooning the Light Within"
Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe 1/7/2012

The year 2000 was the year my life began shifting dramatically into a space that was not in alignment with who I knew myself to be...

The year 2000 was when I developed a challenging skin condition that not only created challenges within me regarding my personal perception of myself, but also created social challenges in regard to the way the outer world viewed me and related to me.

The year 2000 was when I began isolating myself within a cocoon that contained my previous overflowing passion for life.  This cocoon continued to weave its web around me for the next twelve years.  Unbeknowst to me, it was the beginning of twelve years of massive personal growth.  The next three posts focus upon this story.