Emergence (Part 3 of 4)

" Luna Awakening"
Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe 6/2012

"Authenticity" revealed itself to me as my word for this year. it proved to be the essence of what I had stifled within my cocoon. Authenticity has proven to be a powerful word. Since January, it has guided me through many levels of awareness and release.  In February I experienced an illness that prevented me from working for three weeks.  I rarely get sick, go to the doctor or take medications.  Missing so much work was unnerving. As I released resistance to this reality, I experienced a calming perception that financial resources to supplement income I would have earned at this time would somehow manifest.  They did, and in ways I would not have anticipated.  My house became my cocoon.  With the inability to do little more than sleep and occasionally watch television or listen to music, I had been provided the opportunity for a spiritual  sabbatical.  After the first week, I decided to utilize this possibility.

Meditation does not require physical energy. For the next two weeks, between sleeping blissfully,  I meditated daily and gained a deeper understanding of the changes I needed to make to attain the retrieval of my spirit of passion. When we ask for answers and then truly listen, we can hear what we are seeking.  

When I returned to work I was informed that I had been selected to participate in a new MTSN Trainer of Trainers program for Trauma Informed Care.  It has has proved to be completely aligned with my alliance to the calling of Authenticity.  Involvement in this extensive training has been stimulating, intriguing, unnerving and challenging. As I researched the material, many questions arose from within me.   Among them were ones regarding my relationship with my Shadow Mission; a sometimes uncomfortable but empowering process. The compassion, patience and support of the program trainers provided a safe environment for growth and change that allowed me to begin to relax and experience deeper gratitude for this opportunity.  Many facets of myself and my life presented themselves to me for contemplation. Determined to move beyond the confines of any self imposed walls of doubt, I immersed myself in their truth and embraced their lessons. 

During a training in June, I felt an energy shift occurring within me.  I shifted my focus from the presenter and intuitively "listened" to what I was feeling. 

The cocoon that had been tightly wrapped around me was breaking apart.  I closed my eyes to view this symbolic dream from a sensory level of vision and saw threads of the chrysalis drop away. An immense and  beautiful luminous green silk moth emerged from my heart, rose above me and stationed itself behind me with the tips of its wings cresting above my head like a crown.  

Contentment and joy rushed through me. 

I had returned to myself. 

Emergence (Part 2 of 4)

"Truth Beyond Assumption"
Mixed Media Mask by Kate Jobe 1/2011

Each new year I pick a word or phrase that is to be my intent for the coming year.  I meditate upon this intent and trust what comes to me.  I then create some form of art that assists in grounding the energy of these words.  "Truth Beyond Assumption." was revealed to me as my intent for 2011.  The mask I created to reflect its expression to me included symbolic components of  two of my mandalas: "Datura Moons"; & "Diversity"; Peregrine Falcon and a tiny crystal ball.  I hung the mask in a location where I could see it every day and felt strength and appreciation each time I looked at it.  It is difficult to pinpoint when the inception for a paradigm shift actually begins. That spring I began feeling the perceptible impetus to make changes in my life. I made the definitive statement to myself that, up to this moment,  I had lived my life one way and now, for the remainder of my life, I was going to live it another way. Case closed. Every cell of my body heard the power of this truth and responded with gratitude. 

I read the book, Women, Food & God and was impacted by its message.  Among other things, it spoke of how so many women are at war with food and their bodies. Shortly after that I joined Weight Watchers and from that moment on, I realized that I truly was shifting my paradigm regarding my attitude about food and my perception of myself. I attribute part of this shift to Noreen, my meeting leader.  Her spirit of motivation and support was a catalyst that further activated the momentum of my intent. 

Making peace with food released a huge weight from my energy.  Not only did I shift my physical weight, but also the heaviness I had been carrying regarding the pressure I had put upon myself to manifest the weight and proportions of my much younger body.  As I dropped assumptions about myself and owned my truth, I realized that trying to be the person I was a number of years ago meant continuing to own the dramas and energy of that person.  My intent was not to remain stagnant, but to transform and expand beyond who I was into a higher level of energy. In the following year I joyfully released 70 pounds from my body. 

Since the evolution of my skin challenge I had pursued many holistic methods for its healing and had achieved slow but progressive levels of success through their implementation.  More profoundly, and ironically, the imperfections of my skin assisted me to accept and love myself more completely.  An unexpected outcome of my commitments in 2011 was that my skin began to heal more noticably.  The mask of my skin was transforming and the fibers that comprised my cocoon were unraveling.

Emergence (Part 1 of 4)

"Cocooning the Light Within"

Digital Mandala by Kate Jobe 1/7/2012

The year 2000 was the year my life began shifting dramatically into a space that was not in alignment with who I knew myself to be...

The year 2000 was when I developed a challenging skin condition that not only created challenges within me regarding my personal perception of myself, but also created social challenges in regard to the way the outer world viewed me and related to me.

The year 2000 was when I began isolating myself within a cocoon that contained my previous overflowing passion for life.  This cocoon continued to weave its web around me for the next twelve years.  Unbeknowst to me, it was the beginning of twelve years of massive personal growth.  The next three posts focus upon this story.

The Best Gifts of All

Gabby & Jesse
Photo by Alison Jobe

Without a doubt, the best gifts I have ever received are those of the births of each of my children and my grandchildren.  Each Christmas season, I am flooded with memories of the arrival of two of these gifts...my son, Jesse, whose birthday is December 26 and his daughter, Gabrielle, born on December 21.  Each birth was memorable in their own way and each of them has abundantly filled my life with unending gifts of love, joy and laughter.

The year that Jesse was born, I worked on Christmas Eve and then walked home wearing a full length fur coat I had purchased at a thrift store.  I loved its thick soft fur, but with my pregnant belly, must have resembled a brown bear padding through the snow.  The evening was magical.  Big white flakes of snow floated through the sky and glistened in the beams of the street lights.  A pervading aura of peacefulness permeated the atmosphere. 

A few blocks from my home I suddenly felt like I was merging with the earth.  It was awesome and perplexing at the same time.  My doctor had insisted that I would not deliver Jesse until the second week in January, but in typical fashion, Jesse was exhibiting his persistent tendency to do things his own way and was beginning his entry into my life.  From the moment that he arrived on the day after Christmas, Jesse has continued this behavior.  He marches to his own drum and has absolutely no qualms about wearing that badge proudly.   He stands strong in who he is and remains firm in his convictions and ideals.

Aside from the fact that he had a fascination with bigger than life professional wrestling personalities when he was younger, I would have never anticipated that he would pursue doing Strong Man competitions.  From the time that he started his weight lifting pursuits, he has focused intently upon all of its aspects.  Every day, with rare exception, he trains in his garage gym for several hours. Over several years progression of time, he has acquired many trophies and has qualified to go to the national Strong Man competitions in Las Vegas more than once.

Jesse's loyalties run deep.  He likes to put on a tough act, but his true spirit is very kind, generous and loving.  Regardless of where he is, including Strong Man competitions, he has never failed to hug me and tell me he loves me. He adores his wife and his daughter and is devoted to both of them.  They have a deeply bonded family life and are content to spend time with each other experiencing down to earth moments of daily life.

Jesse would frequently sit and talk to me from the time he was very small.  When he had not yet started kindergarten, he often asked me profoundly serious questions about the Universe and about peoples behaviors.  Now he talks less about these things, but we watch movies together on television and I try not to talk and ask questions during this time because it drives him nuts.  We have had alot of fun together and he delights in playing harmless tricks on me.  One of the funniest things he ever did occurred when he was helping me at my home one afternoon.  I was in the process of baking cinnamon rolls and he suddenly began wrapping duct tape around me and rapidly taped up my entire torso.  We were both laughing so hard he had to hold me up to keep me from falling over.

Gabby is very much like both of her parents.  She too, is strong willed. I was present at her birth and cut her cord.  She wouldn't let me (or almost everyone except her mother) touch her for months after that and I swear it is because she resented me for separating her cord from her mother.  She is a beautiful girl with huge blue eyes and waist length blond hair.  Gabby loves animals, is very intelligent, loves to read and is a talented artist.  She loves fashion and has a trendy sense of style.  Even though she is beautiful and very feminine, Gabby is incredibly strong and enjoys working out with Jesse and her mother in his gym. 

Thank you Jesse and Gabby for gifting me with your presence in my life.  I am rich with the gifts of your love for me. 

Happy New Year



"Returning to the Home of My Radiant Heart"
Mixed Media Drawing by Kate Jobe   12/25/11

Happy New Year!

Wishing you the gifts of basking in the warmth of love and the illumination 
of the radiance of your light in 2012.

The above art was created by me as a gift for my daughter for Christmas.  I attained the symbolism and design details via a meditative journey.  The drawing is a symbolic representation and an artistic interpretation
 of this meditative experience. 

The original work is 20" x 20" square and incorporates the following media: Prismacolor Pencils;Watercolor; Glass Bead Gel Medium; Metallic Paints;
Interference Paint and Swaroski Crystals. 

12" x 12" copies of this work, printed on museum quality paper with high definition inks are available for sale.  Larger sizes are  available upon request.  Please email me at the address included on this blog site if you are interested in purchasing this print or would like to commission me to use this process to create a custom drawing for you that is a one-of-a-kind symbolic and artistic depiction of your personal energy, a specific moment in time, the energy of you and your spouse or a newly married couple, your family, a new baby, the energy of your business or your land.

 

Each piece of finished work includes a typed narrative of the meditative journey and explanations of the symbolic components included in the composition.